Billy- that's what I started doing too. I tell everyone that I get the chance to about the JWs disfellowshippping arrangement, and exactly how they treat their own family. I also let people know you can never leave. My relative that is disfellowshipped hadn't been to a meeting in 2 years and the elders still went after them.
i feel like I don't have to cover for them or pretend that the JW behavior is acceptable on any level.